Or else I'd be a Guy Fieri wannabe
This made me laugh, because I don't understand why Guy Fieri is Guy Fieri. Why is he everywhere, and why should I care?

This sounds like a very nice place to live, with a nice community. And I do love the idea of the school mascot being a car, just because it's so weird. I dream of the day when the school eventually decides that someone SHOULD dress up as a car for school events. I would like to see that costume! :D