LJ Idol Week 9: Death Become My Essence

[alycewilson]

This is my entry for Week 9 of LJ Idol. This week's topic is "All Hat, No Cattle."

Abstract art in a parking lot; oil on pavement

death becomes my essence

gossamer wings of
squid glisten at the bottomless
abyss, a mystic cloud of porcelain sugar
raps lightly, clamoring in my ancient yearnings
i have injected thorny abstract distress
into the mad penumbra of my ebony consciousness
surreal fragments descend to the brim
of the darkening gulf
careening to the resounding roar
of forlorn frenzy
hypnotic trance, condemned existence,
my invincible soul is a small
trumpet
playing Taps

for a poem
by a bad poet
to the garbage disposal

---

This was inspired by one of the more overblown submissions I have received to my online literary magazine, Wild Violet. That particular poet was given to excessive use of modifiers, as this poem emulates.

Comments

[roina_arwen]

This made me giggle! That poor poet, I’m sure his poetry was like a cow to slaughter!

[banana_galaxy]

I'd just like to express my love for the colours of oil on pavement.

[swirlsofpurple]

Lol, what imagery though! Clouds of porcelain sugar and ebony consciousness'

[erulissedances]

Oh dear, a little overblown? LOL I adored the photo.

- Erulisse (one L)

[tonithegreat]

I love this direction for the prompt! And honestly, I'm a fan of the poem, too. A lovely little bite, especially alongside the picture.

[drippedonpaper]

Lol, this was fun, especially as you told the story behind it.

I have/used to/do write poetry. It seems to please others it can't be too straight-forward but also CAN NOT be just all this random abstractness.

And yet, sigh, sometimes it seems that is what works. Poems are published that are so hard to understand and others are like, "Very deep" and I so want to ask, "Really? Or are we all afraid to say, "Makes no sense?"

[ashgael]

Not a bad poem.
I like it.

[adoptedwriter]

Great take on the prompt, but I do like the one line: "...the bottomless
abyss, a mystic cloud of porcelain sugar..."

[gunwithoutmusic]

Oof! There are some people that can do flowery language right, but I don't think that a lot of writers that are starting out realize how hard it really is. Never mind that it seems that people think poetry is flowery language and obscured meanings, and you end up with people trying way too hard when it comes to writing poems.

[ofearthandstars]

I'm glad for the explanation here, as I was reading the first few lines several times over trying to let it sink in, and laughed when I finally let go and just made it to the end. I have written some really overwrought stuff in my day, so I can't judge! My favorite bit is i have injected thorny abstract distress / into the mad penumbra of my ebony consciousness .

[mollywheezy]

I really like the "gossamer wings of squid". ;)

I completely LOLed at the ending. :D

[marlawentmad]

I can tell you had a lot of fun with this one! I think this was a very clever way to use the prompt.

[dadi]

LOL...knowing you, by now, a bit, I was originally going...."whaaaat?" when I started to read, but then caught the excellent intention behind it!

[d0gs.livejournal.com]

Heh, I love what you did with this :D