Week 10: Intrigant

This is my (nearly forgotten) entry for LJ Idol: Wheel of Chaos. The topic this week was "Intrigant," defined as "a person who makes secret plans to do something illicit or detrimental to someone else.?


What if everything really was someone else's fault? A house fairy, perhaps, whom you had offended by not making proper offerings? Or a neighborhood witch who never forgave you for sledding over her pansies? Whoever it was, it was likely a long time ago, and purely accidental on your part.

But by now, just think of all the damage that has been done. Socks, surreptitiously pulled from the dryer just as they were reaching sentience. Trips and falls too numerous to count, and not to mention fender-benders. Or, going further back, that awkward year when you received both glasses and persistent acne. Clearly, magic was to blame.

So many things lost: wallets, phones, keys, gloves, remotes. A brand-new fuzzy ski hat, while you were wearing it! Almost as if an invisible hand plucked it from your head, in order to make a paired set with the beloved angora sweater, which disappeared on a ski trip.

You may have dreamt once that someone really did live under your bed: a wizened creature that grabbed your foot and woke you up. If you did, you dismissed the experience as a foot cramp, but was it, instead, a glimpse behind the curtain? How often have you felt like something was lurking in a dark corner, only to investigate and find the spot vacated?

And lately, the interloper has grown more insidious. How else would deadlines skip your memory, despite your efforts to track them? How else would you call somebody "Charla" when her name is clearly "Cindy"? What's next? Your understanding of the world? Your grasp of language itself?

It's time you asked yourself the important questions: How long has this imp followed me? How has it traveled with me for so long, from address to address, life change to life change? Why do more than half of accidents take place close to home?

And the most important question of all: How can I stop it?

The fact that you've even read this far indicates that you can feel it in your bones. You know that something is off: that an interloper has intruded into your daily life, making mischief of your well-laid plans; curdling your milk.

You may consider the answer to be simple: leaving out a saucer of honey for the fae folk. That might have worked once, a long time ago. But what's the compound interest on a childhood slight? How can you reconcile after so long, when you have no idea what you did or whom you offended?

Do not despair. A simple thought exercise will help. Ponder on the question, and the answer will present itself, like a barely whispered offering. Clear your mind and let the thoughts come in.

That moment from childhood that you can't forget, no matter how dearly you'd like to? Perhaps the time you peed yourself while playing hide-and-seek, then hid the underwear in the hamper, not realizing your mother would find them? Or the time you drank a glass of milk too fast and horked it out your nose? That moment is not what it seems. It is hiding something.

But how, you might ask, do I dismiss this persistent memory? Simple. Forgive yourself, like the adult version of you would easily dismiss such a misstep from a beloved child. Forgive yourself, and the memory that has acted as a cloak for the real trouble will dissipate.

There! What do you see? Shimmering in the gloaming of your memory? A shape, a form, a moment revealing itself to you. You will know immediately what that moment means: you should have been kinder; you should have been respectful; you should have apologized; you should have forgiven another. Someone or something wronged, in a time nearly forgotten. That shimmering shape will probably not be anyone you can name or even completely remember. But let the memory grow brighter until you can see it as clearly as possible.

And now what? Simple. Ask the memory for peace. Tell it you are sorry; that you didn't understand. That you will strive to be more conscious of your impacts as you move about the world. The more sincere your words, the more effective they will be. Then, you will feel a warmth growing inside your chest as you purify the bond that has clung to you until this very moment.

Inhale. Exhale. Move on. The very next step will be your own.


This message brought to you by the International House Fairy Council.

Buildings and trees silhouetted at dusk with a few golden windows of light.