LJI Week : In Pursuit of Quiet

[alycewilson]

This is my entry for <a="http://therealljidol.dreamwidth.org">LJ Idol. This week's topic is "Pursuit."

In Pursuit of Quiet

Innovation is a novel
process, the computerized voice
intones. As my son hums
tunelessly, taps his fingers. When you act
in an assertive fashion, you know
what you want and persist
in getting it, the voice tells him.
Vocabulary homework.

He asks me
what's for dinner. Homemade
chicken nuggets, easy
and gluten-free. Dinner
handled, I strive to type
anything worthwhile.

When you really push something,
you give it up or let it go,
the computer says. My son mutters
a joke, sotto voce.

Welcome to my now. My last
two years. My forever
after. A work-at-home writer
whose creative space never
quiets. Endless Zoom meetings,
then homework, video games. Noise.

Omnipotent. My son half-
rises, repeats deeply, "All power." Makes
a hissing noise -- rockets taking off.
"Omnipotent," he repeats.
The rocket sound again. I wonder
if, on test day, he'll hear rockets.

My son cheers, makes a trumpet sound
with pressed-together lips.
The voice continues: Relinquish. To
voluntarily withdraw or retreat.
My cursor blinks.

My son works on a computer project

---

While my son goes to school in person these days, he does have a lot more computer assignments than in the before-times. My husband is now permanently working at home for the nonprofit where he works as an IT manager, and he is on Zoom meetings constantly! These days, my only alone time comes either in the car, while taking a nap, or on the green-space breaks I take in local parks for at least a few minutes whenever I can spare it.

Comments

[bleodswean]

You must must must find a room of your own, A. Really. I had a small closet space when the kids were very young. Now I have the woods. And one night a week.

[alycewilson]

<3 That sounds wonderful, E! I think you're right. I grew up in a crowded household but would go to my bedroom or on the front porch for some space when I was writing. Maybe when it gets warm, I'll try writing on our little patio area.

[ofearthandstars]

Oof. I feel this, and my kids are technically adults. One of the nice things I miss about being at the office regularly.

I really loved your depiction of your son's voices, mannerisms, etc. It reminds me of when mine were littles!

[alycewilson]

Aww! That's cute. I have always liked kids, but I never understood them quite so well as I do now that I'm a parent. The main reason I don't just go into the bedroom to write is that it actually gives me joy being around him. As distracting as it is, he brings me joy.

[roina_arwen]

I’ve never tried making chicken nuggets besides the frozen kind, lol. Very nifty entry.

[alycewilson]

I only tried them recently because I found a very cool product in the grocery store. It's like Shake and Bake, but gluten-free with only natural ingredients. You cut up the chicken, shake it up in the provided bag with the spices, and then bake it on a greased cookie sheet for 20-25 minutes.

[adoptedwriter]

I hear ya on not having any “me time” . Yeah…It’s in the car.

[alycewilson]

For real! It's funny now to look back at status updates from a few years ago on FB, when for example, it was an unusual day to have my husband home at lunchtime.

[mollywheezy]

It's so hard to have two people working at home with a child in school!

[alycewilson]

Definitely! But I'm fairly adjusted to it now. My husband works at least half of the day in the bedroom while I work in the living room. That gives me some space, which is much appreciated.

[static_abyss]

I hope you can find some time for yourself because we all need it at some point. Best of luck with your writing and I hope the muse is with you always.

[alycewilson]

Thanks so much! That's why I like LJ Idol so much, because it lets me stretch my creative muscle a bit. Most of the writing I do these days is either feature articles for a parenting site, genealogy, or press releases for Otakon. So it's nice to flex my creative muscles a bit.

[banana_galaxy]

Gosh that sounds rough. I'm fortunately in a big enough place where my kids don't need to be in the same room as me when they need to make noise, because I've found it distracting when they are. I recall that when I was married and my ex and I had shared a study, with separate computers in the same room, I would tense up when we were both there at the same time, and that was just from his presence and fear of him looking over my shoulder at what I was doing. I imagine it would've been even worse if there was additional noise too.

[alycewilson]

*hugs* So glad you're out of that situation. I can imagine how soul-killing it would be to work with someone like that around.

Our apartment is small, but it suits our budget and it's a great school district. If we ever get our act together enough to save for a down payment, it would be nice to have a little house in the school district that would give us more space to spread out.

[dsrmousey]

It's hard the constant background noise. I get it. Peace~~~D

[alycewilson]

Thanks! I've grown used to it. I grew up in a pretty loud family and learned how to find quiet where I can.

[troof_therry]

The poetic form here really serves the kind of chaos that having multiple sounds at once gives me when I'm trying to be creative. The real world can be so intrusive when it's people on a Zoom call or online classes, and each line of the poem sorta intrudes on the one before. Nice work!

[dadi]

I really hope you'll be able to find some physical space for yourself at least a few hours a day!

[tonithegreat]

Your now sounds like my pandemic times which I am weirdly missing these days. It’s true that alone time was harder then, without driving all around, but I miss the efficiency of the family hanging together now. I miss having time to attend to house stuff.

This was lovely and contemplative.

[gunwithoutmusic]

I totally feel you, just for different reasons! I mostly do my writing at my office job, since many days are fairly quiet. At my house, there's my husband, my father-in-law, two dogs and a cat all vying for my attention at every moment! If I ever have to try and write over a weekend, I just run away from everyone and go a few miles into the woods where no one else is around.

[drippedonpaper]

Hugs! I love my kids and husband but, I know what you mean when you talk about needing alone time.

I love your poem and how you wove in his vocab words :)