LJ Idol Week 9: Death Become My Essence

[alycewilson]

This is my entry for Week 9 of LJ Idol. This week's topic is "All Hat, No Cattle."

Abstract art in a parking lot; oil on pavement

death becomes my essence

gossamer wings of
squid glisten at the bottomless
abyss, a mystic cloud of porcelain sugar
raps lightly, clamoring in my ancient yearnings
i have injected thorny abstract distress
into the mad penumbra of my ebony consciousness
surreal fragments descend to the brim
of the darkening gulf
careening to the resounding roar
of forlorn frenzy
hypnotic trance, condemned existence,
my invincible soul is a small
trumpet
playing Taps

for a poem
by a bad poet
to the garbage disposal

---

This was inspired by one of the more overblown submissions I have received to my online literary magazine, Wild Violet. That particular poet was given to excessive use of modifiers, as this poem emulates.

Comments

[gunwithoutmusic]

Oof! There are some people that can do flowery language right, but I don't think that a lot of writers that are starting out realize how hard it really is. Never mind that it seems that people think poetry is flowery language and obscured meanings, and you end up with people trying way too hard when it comes to writing poems.

[alycewilson]

Exactly! And much as I'd like to "help out" poets like the one who inspired this, I don't give comments unless they're sought. Too many novices get their backs up if they receive unsolicited feedback.

[gunwithoutmusic]

That's interesting; I was going to ask if you offered this poet feedback, but your reasoning makes sense. Good for me to keep in mind, too, as I've submitted a few things to various places and got more upset that I didn't get any feedback.

[alycewilson]

Most publications have a policy of not offering feedback unless requested, in part because it's more time consuming. The one exception is that sometimes, if a piece is nearly there, you might get feedback to note what they felt was lacking and an encouragement to resubmit. But again, not every editor has the time to do that.