LJI Week 13: Kintsugi Heart

[alycewilson]

This is my entry for Week 13 of the Three Strikes season of LJ Idol. This week's topic is "Kintsugi." For those unfamiliar with the term, "Kintsugi, also known as kintsukuroi, is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum; the method is similar to the maki-e technique."

Kintsugi Heart

Run your finger over the ridges, golden
seams fusing together the cracks. This one,
time-darkened, marks the moment
your good friend Heather
turned on you, snatching
your hat as you descended
from the bus, tossing it
viciously to her new friend. They
cackled as you jumped, frantic to reclaim
your hat, or dignity, before you rushed
up the hill on rubbery legs, face aflame.

Or this, with a patina from years
of rubbing the uneven surface, healing
the fracture caused by your low-rent
Spike* cheating on you with an earthy
brunette. The moment described to you
by her roommate, in annihilating detail,
like peeking through a portrait hole. Now,
softened by years, that burnished
bond has rounded edges, made
meaningless. Him? That wretched
pilferer of hearts? As if.

A series of fissures, latticework
from childhood to middle age. Each
disjunction lovingly patched
to hold the whole: the one who
wouldn't say I love you and dumped you
at a business meeting; the crush
who mocked you in school as you hid; a fractious
first husband, bent on wind and chaos.
All these, softened and soothed
with smooth, shining filaments.

Even the cleft that threatened to rupture
all, seven years ago, as your mother
danced from earth
in morning's wee hours. Even that gulf,
leafed and sottered. Tempered
by the worrying finger. The way
her bright, improbable colors
peer down at you in the pastel works
she left you. Her calm voice
in dreams, reminding you. She
first taught you how to heal. This
endless work.

Created by the AI art project at craiyon.com, by inputting the term "kintsugi heart"

* I call him Spike here because of his passing resemblance to the character from Buffy. He, however, had no redemption arc.

Comments

[bleodswean]

This endless work indeed. I could feel both the pain and the healing here, A!

[alycewilson]

Thanks, E! I like to say that our scars make us interesting. But that's after enough time has passed to get some perspective on them.

[dsrmousey]

I reeaally like this. Especially the schoolgirl being teased by her frenemy, It must've been so painful. I've been there. Peace~~~Desiree.

[alycewilson]

Thank you so much! 💓 I've said it before in other contexts, but I sometimes feel lost friendships hurt worse than lost loves. We expect our friends to be there for us forever. And although she was a complicated person with a lot of tragedy in her life, it still pangs to remember how it ended.

[alycewilson]

Thank you so much! 💓 I've said it before in other contexts, but I sometimes feel lost friendships hurt worse than lost loves. We expect our friends to be there for us forever.

[roina_arwen]

Lovely, especially the passage about mom.

[favoritebean_writes]

This was beautiful, yet painful. All of those things that happened are heartbreaking. You learning how to heal is something I wish I could do. Your kintsugi heart is lovely.

[erulissedances]

I could easily feel the pain that each of these breaks were caused by, the miracle is always that we can heal from these - scarred, but mended and continuing on in spite or despite the past.

- Erulisse (one L)

[adoptedwriter]

Hugs. So much pain but also resilience.

[mollywheezy]

This is beautiful! And I love the pictures you found, too.

[ofearthandstars]

This is beautiful personal piece. I particularly like Each disjunction lovingly patched to hold the whole:

[gunwithoutmusic]

I feel this very deeply - not exactly the same situations, of course, but I think this speaks to something that we all know very well.

[banana_galaxy]

I feel like I got a good sense of all these emotional scars. Also think the AI art you included it pretty cool!

[drippedonpaper]

This was just beautiful. And yes, the pain of the cracks often fades and smooths over time, doesn't it?

I'm so sorry you lost your mom. She sounds amazing! I would love to see her artwork, if you ever want to post it.

Hugs to you!