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This is my entry for LJ Idol (http://therealljidol.dreamwidth.org), Week 7. The topic this week is "Steadfast."
A pillowcase featuring Charlie Brown trying to hit a ball
When my favorite pillowcase, the one with purple psychedelic flowers, was in the laundry, I selected my second favorite. Though technically my brother's, since it went with his matching Peanuts sheets, I liked the stark white pillow with its blue line drawing of Charlie Brown, ready to swing at a baseball, his face all grim determination. In blue block letters next to him were the words, "I'm steadfast, unalterable, unyielding!"
In love with both the words -- which I asked Mom to define -- and the sentiment, I pressed my face against that moment of possibility. Charlie Brown, caught just before trying to hit the ball. I identified with that determination, that idea that somehow, if you just keep trying, if you never stop believing in yourself, you can achieve anything. Or, in Charlie Brown's case, you could maybe, someday, if you keep trying, catch even a little piece of the ball.
I just found an image of the pillow online, and my son, KFP, saw it over my shoulder. "What does that mean?" he asked, and I explained it. "But he's Charlie Brown," he said, knowing that said it all.
True. But at least the pillow gives Charlie Brown a chance. Do you know what the other side contained, the side that I never turned face up? A red line drawing of Lucy Van Pelt, in a cheerleading outfit with pompons, shouting with giddy glee, "Pompon girls can't resist a superstar!" Even in those days before anyone could declare themselves officially "woke," my little-girl response was "Really? What is this, a misprint?"
The back of the pillowcase, showing Lucy Van Pelt as a pompon girl
Whoever designed that pillowcase got it all wrong. Lucy, the smart, sarcastic girl who, to my chagrin, my dad sometimes insisted I resembled, would only cheer on the sidelines as a lark. Maybe in a starry-eyed moment of weakness, she might try cheerleading as a scheme to attract resolutely uninterested Schroeder. But once that trick failed, I'm pretty sure she would have thrown down her pompons, grabbed a football, and lobbed it at his helmeted head, which is, after all, a much surer way of getting his attention.
Anyone who really knew Lucy would have chosen a different quote to represent her, such as "The world revolves around the sun? That's odd. I thought it revolved around me." Or "I'm not a fuss budget anymore. Now I'm just plain ornery!" Or "It's amazing how stupid you can be when you're in love."
How about "I like talking but I hate listening"? Or "Everybody is entitled to my opinion"? Or "Nobody tells me what to do! Nobody!" With so many bon mots, why go with the vapid pompon-girl quote?
I know my mom implicitly agreed with me from the tortured look she would give me, approximately five years later, when I brought home a permission slip to join the school cheerleader squad. A modern woman who had spent her lifetime fighting stereotypes, she finally said quietly, "You can join if you drop ballet." Ballet, taught by the gentle-voiced Mrs. Treon, filled with positive girls who made clumsy me feel graceful and comfortable with myself, won out.
That's OK. In those days when I lacked an internal editor, I was just as likely to yell "Your stupidity is appalling" from the sidelines as "Go, team!" I have always played things my own way, just like Lucy. When I turned that second-choice pillow Charlie Brown side up, I knew that I was the one who was steadfast, unalterable and unyielding.
A pillowcase featuring Charlie Brown trying to hit a ball
When my favorite pillowcase, the one with purple psychedelic flowers, was in the laundry, I selected my second favorite. Though technically my brother's, since it went with his matching Peanuts sheets, I liked the stark white pillow with its blue line drawing of Charlie Brown, ready to swing at a baseball, his face all grim determination. In blue block letters next to him were the words, "I'm steadfast, unalterable, unyielding!"
In love with both the words -- which I asked Mom to define -- and the sentiment, I pressed my face against that moment of possibility. Charlie Brown, caught just before trying to hit the ball. I identified with that determination, that idea that somehow, if you just keep trying, if you never stop believing in yourself, you can achieve anything. Or, in Charlie Brown's case, you could maybe, someday, if you keep trying, catch even a little piece of the ball.
I just found an image of the pillow online, and my son, KFP, saw it over my shoulder. "What does that mean?" he asked, and I explained it. "But he's Charlie Brown," he said, knowing that said it all.
True. But at least the pillow gives Charlie Brown a chance. Do you know what the other side contained, the side that I never turned face up? A red line drawing of Lucy Van Pelt, in a cheerleading outfit with pompons, shouting with giddy glee, "Pompon girls can't resist a superstar!" Even in those days before anyone could declare themselves officially "woke," my little-girl response was "Really? What is this, a misprint?"
The back of the pillowcase, showing Lucy Van Pelt as a pompon girl
Whoever designed that pillowcase got it all wrong. Lucy, the smart, sarcastic girl who, to my chagrin, my dad sometimes insisted I resembled, would only cheer on the sidelines as a lark. Maybe in a starry-eyed moment of weakness, she might try cheerleading as a scheme to attract resolutely uninterested Schroeder. But once that trick failed, I'm pretty sure she would have thrown down her pompons, grabbed a football, and lobbed it at his helmeted head, which is, after all, a much surer way of getting his attention.
Anyone who really knew Lucy would have chosen a different quote to represent her, such as "The world revolves around the sun? That's odd. I thought it revolved around me." Or "I'm not a fuss budget anymore. Now I'm just plain ornery!" Or "It's amazing how stupid you can be when you're in love."
How about "I like talking but I hate listening"? Or "Everybody is entitled to my opinion"? Or "Nobody tells me what to do! Nobody!" With so many bon mots, why go with the vapid pompon-girl quote?
I know my mom implicitly agreed with me from the tortured look she would give me, approximately five years later, when I brought home a permission slip to join the school cheerleader squad. A modern woman who had spent her lifetime fighting stereotypes, she finally said quietly, "You can join if you drop ballet." Ballet, taught by the gentle-voiced Mrs. Treon, filled with positive girls who made clumsy me feel graceful and comfortable with myself, won out.
That's OK. In those days when I lacked an internal editor, I was just as likely to yell "Your stupidity is appalling" from the sidelines as "Go, team!" I have always played things my own way, just like Lucy. When I turned that second-choice pillow Charlie Brown side up, I knew that I was the one who was steadfast, unalterable and unyielding.
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Date: 2018-12-01 07:21 am (UTC)From: