![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
This is my entry for this week of LJ Idol (http://therealljidol.dreamwidth.org). The topic is "Lalochezia," which means "emotional relief gained by using indecent or vulgar language."
I drop a slippery shampoo bottle on the locker room floor, "Oh, bother!" I exclaim. Then, somewhat sheepishly, I admit to the elderly woman standing nearby, "I taught myself to say that instead of swearing when my son was little. You know how little kids repeat what they hear."
She looks disinterested, nods slightly, and goes back to putting on her sneakers.
While I have, indeed, strived to eliminate curse words from my everyday speech, I also have a guilty secret. For years, when my son was at school and my husband at work, I'd throw myself a swear party. With no tender ears to hear me, or other adults to witness, I'd walk around the house, cursing at everything and everyone.
I'd curse out the loud neighbors, the demanding boss, the jar of spaghetti sauce I couldn't open.
Sometimes, I'd turn it into a song, dancing around and improvising lyrics. Most English curse words, it turns out, are very easy to rhyme. What luck!
To give you a taste of it, I've written an expurgated version we'll call "Shut the Front Door." I recorded this in the car as my husband was driving and we headed for my sister's place to spend the weekend. It's just over 2 minutes, so I hope you get a chance to listen to it. (Link below)
Lalochezia (Shut the Front Door)
Lalochezia (Shut the Front Door)
This song is for the downtrodden, the frustrated and spat upon. If you've been kicked around, pushed down, laughed at and scorned, rise up! Push back! Speak out and give those sons of a monkey a piece of your mind. Tell them, Shut the frack up.
You can't treat me like this anymore.
Shut the front door!
No more cutting me off in traffic
Or pounding your horn like a piece of shitake mushrooms.
Blasting your music all hours of night --
Cheese and rice!
Your tunes make me vomit.
All those microaggressions,
Misgendering my friends.
Galloping gremlins, you suck!
Slamming doors on children,
Drawing in library books,
You're truly a cad;
You make kittens sad.
And when you see me again, don't press your luck --
I mean, drat! I lost my train of thought.
Oh, coconuts!
This song is about how awful you are,
With your sexist jokes.
Holy guacamole, you make me
Want to scream.
H-E double hockey sticks
Dagnabbit
Snickerdoodle
Banana shenanigans
Fiddlesticks
Merlins's beard
Great Scott
Son of a bucket
Jigglypuffs
Merry Christmas
Oh, fork it
Gosh darn it
Horse hockey
Suffering succotash
Oh, good night
Music from Pixabay.com, "This is Epic" by Music Unlimited
I drop a slippery shampoo bottle on the locker room floor, "Oh, bother!" I exclaim. Then, somewhat sheepishly, I admit to the elderly woman standing nearby, "I taught myself to say that instead of swearing when my son was little. You know how little kids repeat what they hear."
She looks disinterested, nods slightly, and goes back to putting on her sneakers.
While I have, indeed, strived to eliminate curse words from my everyday speech, I also have a guilty secret. For years, when my son was at school and my husband at work, I'd throw myself a swear party. With no tender ears to hear me, or other adults to witness, I'd walk around the house, cursing at everything and everyone.
I'd curse out the loud neighbors, the demanding boss, the jar of spaghetti sauce I couldn't open.
Sometimes, I'd turn it into a song, dancing around and improvising lyrics. Most English curse words, it turns out, are very easy to rhyme. What luck!
To give you a taste of it, I've written an expurgated version we'll call "Shut the Front Door." I recorded this in the car as my husband was driving and we headed for my sister's place to spend the weekend. It's just over 2 minutes, so I hope you get a chance to listen to it. (Link below)
Lalochezia (Shut the Front Door)
Lalochezia (Shut the Front Door)
This song is for the downtrodden, the frustrated and spat upon. If you've been kicked around, pushed down, laughed at and scorned, rise up! Push back! Speak out and give those sons of a monkey a piece of your mind. Tell them, Shut the frack up.
You can't treat me like this anymore.
Shut the front door!
No more cutting me off in traffic
Or pounding your horn like a piece of shitake mushrooms.
Blasting your music all hours of night --
Cheese and rice!
Your tunes make me vomit.
All those microaggressions,
Misgendering my friends.
Galloping gremlins, you suck!
Slamming doors on children,
Drawing in library books,
You're truly a cad;
You make kittens sad.
And when you see me again, don't press your luck --
I mean, drat! I lost my train of thought.
Oh, coconuts!
This song is about how awful you are,
With your sexist jokes.
Holy guacamole, you make me
Want to scream.
H-E double hockey sticks
Dagnabbit
Snickerdoodle
Banana shenanigans
Fiddlesticks
Merlins's beard
Great Scott
Son of a bucket
Jigglypuffs
Merry Christmas
Oh, fork it
Gosh darn it
Horse hockey
Suffering succotash
Oh, good night
Music from Pixabay.com, "This is Epic" by Music Unlimited
no subject
Date: 2022-08-18 05:34 pm (UTC)From: